Separationally-Challenged

Daddy is still resistant to your growth. I mean I'd like to keep you a baby as long as possible, but am aware that at some point, Peter Pan, everyone has to grow up. So I said to your (normally intelligent, fairly rational) father "I mean I'd like her to stay little too, but what what do you want to do, block her development?" His answer was a firm and immediate "yes." Okaaaaay...

Then as we prepared you for bed, he tells me "I love that I can just tap her on the bottom randomly and it's not weird because I'm her dad." He is so going to purposefully embarrass you when you get older. Can't wait for that.  ;)

Speaking of love taps, you (little miss bright eyes) have been contracting quite the attitude lately. Mia says it's because you're so intelligent that you're reading us and trying to figure out how to get what you want. I just think you get frustrated and don't know how else to communicate. But honestly, there are times when you freak the h out. The most notable example stems from your recent love-affair with Bo. Though he remains wary of your tiny presence, Bo has grown more tolerant as of late. He graciously allows you to pat, climb, pull and mouth him with as much zeal as your little body can possibly possess. You love to play the "mess with Bo until he lumbers off and then chase him to another location and repeat" game. I'm not sure Bo knows you're playing. If we at any point interrupt this bonding (by picking you up), you thrash and whine and twist about as though set on fire. I would think you were in pain if I didn't know better. Current tactics to disarm this bomb include distracting you with whatever toy or person is available, removing you from the room/situation, and bribing you with food. Just kidding about the last one. Taking you away seems to help, but it's tough. It's crazy to me that we're having to deal with this already. Aren't you supposed to stay a baby a little longer? I may be starting to see daddy's point of view on this whole not growing up thing...

Maybe with our own stubborn selves, we should have known you'd be strong-willed. But if this is your first challenge, bring it on. We will nip it in the bud, my little diva. A battle of wills. 'Cause you know what princess? We can out-stubborn you. 

I'm sorry to do it and you may hate me for it sometimes, but you can't always get what you want. If you cry sometimes, though, you might find you get what you need.... 

(I'm joking. We will always try to meet your needs. That's what parents are for.)

The other side of this strange, misshapen parenting coin is that you've also been experiencing bouts of separation anxiety. You have a few favorite people in the world and everyone else is just scenery. Scenery that does not hold the baby...

The preference tier is as follows:

1. Mia

2. Daddy / Bo

3. Miss Alecia and/or Miss Nevona

4. Mommy

5. Granny

etc. (you get the picture)

For one reason or another, Mia is the absolute apple of your eye. To you, no one is more glorious and deserving of your love than your Mia Sally. Well, daddy might run a close second; but if your beloved Mia is around, you only have eyes for her! We discovered this during our week at the beach when you would cry for Mia if mommy took you and reach upside-down-backwards in search of her embrace. 

And hey, where's the "I don't love one parent more than the other; I love them both equally" filter, kid? Aren't you supposed to be born with that? At times when daddy hands you off and I want nothing more than a hug or snuggle, you scream bloody murder (and a pathetic "dadada" on a loop) to return to your fave. I'm sure this makes daddy feel good, but I have to secretly squelch the tears because admitting it hurts my feelings is ludicrous. You don't mean anything by it, I know. But I want so badly for you to love me. I mean I'm sure you do, but I'm emotionally high-maintenance and need the reassurance. Blessedly, daddy and Mia understand and give mommy extra hugs for support. And daddy had a wonderful suggestion of greeting one another before we greet you. That way we can show you the correct hierarchy. It's mommy and daddy; then you. I think the theme here is "this is our world, and we're fitting you in."

And now (since I've mainly written about your noncompliance so far and am feeling a tad guilty because it's really such a small part of your world), I'd like to share some of the things I love about you at almost 10 months(!):

• When you pull up on something and then turn around and wobble a step or two towards me I get so excited (but then I realize that walking = toddler and you're not my little baby anymore, and it makes me less anxious... ). Daddy's probably thinking of any way possible to keep you from taking those steps, but I'm afraid it's imminent.

• You're eating everything (thank daddy for that) with your pinschers, which is basically the most adorable way I can think of to get your dietary allowance. We like to lay it out on the tray and let you go for the gold. Puffs and breadcrumbs turn up just about everywhere, but I'm sure some of it actually lands in your mouth...   The most recent of daddy's ill-conceived food tasting choices? Dorito cheese straight from the finger. Am I on television?

• If you happen to be sleeping and wake up to a face you love (see list above), you burst into that shining smile and start waving hello. That floppy little gesture just melts me to pieces.

• Evidently, you can now produce dog sounds. Miss Nevona shared with me today that you have the "ruff ruff ruff" down pat. You are becoming quite proficient in jibberish as well. I bet you and Bo have secret conversations..

• Often when we play, you create your own obstacle course just so it will require you to climb over us and back again. You particularly enjoy shimmying monkey-style up daddy's chest while he's sideways and rolling over to his back. Gymnast? Maybe. Daredevil? Clearly. I'll start practicing the fastest routes to the hospital.

• At daycare, you have a sleep mat (on account of the pulling up in your crib thing). Daddy and I find it impossible to buy that you actually fall asleep there and stay still, but your teachers insist. When daddy picked you up yesterday, they divulged that you were so ready to nap at 2:30, you voluntarily dragged yourself over and laid down on your mat without prompting. Aw!

• You're loving water (aside from the ocean waves, but they scare me too so we're not counting that). Daddy waded with you at Aunt Jennifer's 30th birthday Tie-Dye and pool party, which was your first time in a big girl pool. You do have precisely 9 bathing suits—several of which are bikinis that may or may not be wildly inappropriate for a baby—so I certainly hope you continue this water infatuation. I'll put some beach pictures up asap.  :)  

Click here to view these pictures larger

• You also have a preference for water from a plastic bottle (sadly, I am not kidding—but I think it's because you find it necessary to envelop the opening while drinking). If it's not in the bottle, a straw will do the trick. And despite daddy's major sippy-cup resistance, he is happy to teach you to use a real cup. Observe:

• You dance. Not that I'm shocked in any way, considering the 2 bachelorette parties, 2 weddings, numerous dance dance revolution battles and countless super baby dance parties of your "youth." And you love music. Granny contends that country is your fave. Traitor. You are my baby, right? I'm hoping to catch you on daddy's phone because corroboration exists only on the camcorder at this juncture. But it is too too cute. 

No, you're not in that video, but I'm just sayin'.. I won't be surprised if they contact you for the next one.

In other news, Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Jay recently welcomed your future crush, Graham Nance Weaver, just over a week early on June 9th. 

Isn't he great at his job? (sleeping)

He is as little, beautiful, and sweet as can be, and I have to apologize in advance that you will not be allowed to date him, as apparently this would be awkward for your father and Uncle Jay. (You can take it up with them). But I'm sure you'll be great friends and you can show him all sorts of good stuff like how to fling pacis and eat sand. Jake still has your heart for the time being anyway.*   ;)    

*I really am joking about these things. But it's only because I so want you to bond with your non-related cousins. I know you're all very popular in your own circles, but mommy and your aunts are kinda close. So if you wouldn't mind humoring us, playing with one another and at least trying to be pals, we'd greatly appreciate it. And I bet you'll have some great stories when you're older (you know, when you're all about to graduate from UNC).

The Return of the Crud

so basically, you've been sick for almost 4 weeks now. it started off as a bit of congestion, and you had your first (low-grade) fever on Friday the 29th (of January) - which also happened to be the first of several snowdays in the past couple weeks from which you were quarantined. :(  we could tell you felt yucky, but even then it was only mildly irritating to your normally-sweet disposition, so we just let you sleep as much as possible and tried to wait it out. but in the last week and a half, the congestion has morphed into a runny nose and produced a scary-sounding cough that occasionally causes you to projectile vomit on anything in your path. not so much a good time for the washing machine to up and quit. 

just last week, you started putting both your fists in your mouth, drooling fiercely and then screaming in pain when we give you something to gnaw on. you seem to be calmed by the miraculous orajel swabs i preemptively purchased for teething. does this mean you're teething? and if so, those toofers need to stop hurting you. why do babies need teeth anyway? 

of course, mommy and daddy freak out a tad at the slightest screech (you being our first baby and all), so we took you to dr. brassfield on monday. to be fair, your cold symptoms did seem to be worsening rather than clearing up. but as we suspected, there's not much we can do to help you (you seriously can't imagine how frustrating that is!). if i haven't mentioned it before, we love our doc and ansley does, too. when she's not sick. 

at least we ruled out the big things. dr. b looked at you and said "i bet you don't cry for long at your house." nope. can't imagine why...

i guess i should take a second to explain. first, a disclaimer: i am not an expert, nor do i recommend raising your child exactly as i do. i know there are a myriad of methods out there and, really, who knows which is better than another. what works for me may not work for anyone else. so i'll try not to give "advice" unless it's asked. the following (and any further parental nuggets i choose to share herein) is simply "how we do." take it or leave it. right or wrong. crazy-brilliant or just literally crazy.

i've mentioned babywise in here before, and though i believe in its merits and fully trust its effectiveness, much like me and the pill, babywise and i have broken up. it was a mutual decision and an amicable split, but b-dub and i differ when it comes to the "cry it out" scenario.

there may come a time when i will feel the need to do such a thing. and i may eat my words with a healthy dose of my own saltwater tears, but at the current moment i simply cannot understand why i would set my baby down and leave her to cry when we can rock or sway for a few minutes, or even lay her in the crib while i watch over her as she floats painlessly off to dreamland. you could say she has us wrapped around her abnormally-long little fingers. but i just think right now she's a pretty good little baby, and i'm fairly certain she's not lacking the ability to soothe herself (her personal morning talkshow is evidence of this..). 

we did get into the habit of co-sleeping during the sickness as i feared for her respiratory function and needed to hear her breathing, but are finally easing back to the crib and she's done fabulously. yes, there are times when jon or i go to her in the middle of the night to re-insert the paciplug, but for the most part she sleeps well. and for me, that's enough. 

**disclaimer 2: if you're feeling out of sorts after reading this post, you're not loopy. i'm retro-posting, since i didn't have time to do so when i first started writing this. if you're new to.. me.. or this blog, i'm going to be doing quite a bit of this since i have "journal entries" that date back beyond a year and am seriously trying to organize pictures to go with them. i also have a list of pics and videos to add before i really "catch up" and can start posting in realtime again. so please forgive me if i don't get to the latest ansley stat. i'm trying!! i know.. i suck. 

will cute ansley pics help???

(snow-suiting up!)

(but.. now how do i get to my hands?)

Can you hear me down there?

{MLK day}

daddy had off today, and when the crud seemingly wasn't disappearing on its own, he called the pediatrician helpline to see if there was something more we could do. she told him to take your temperature and see if you had a fever. keep in mind, though ear thermometers are supposed to function with minimal effort, daddys don't always know how to work them. so when yours couldn't get it to register and the lady suggested "taking the rectal temperature," he just removed it from your ear and shoved it in the bum (so sorry about that honey). and when that didn't work, he realized that one of the protective caps was on and felt the need to reattempt the measurement sans cap. you poor thing. needless to say, we won't be using that thermometer again. nor will daddy be taking your temperature...

and speaking of ears, i cannot apologize enough if you develop a complex about your right one. for one reason or another, it simply will not stay back. when we hold you, put you in your carseat or lean you up against anything, your right ear folds over and refuses to straighten out! mommy will continue to manually pin it whenever i take note of this occurrence but fear that at this point, it may simply be too late. short hair could be an impossibility for you, my dear. i'm just sayin.

(protruding right ear can be observed here. it's ok though 'cause you'll get hair...someday)

(and you're so cute it won't matter! love the hands on the knees in this one, btw)

Everyday Rarities

{almost 20 weeks}
caught daddy washing you in the tub the other day PATTING your pikachu to clean it. this was most hilarious to mommy, who immediately felt obligated to explain that patting may not be the best cleansing option, and that wiping with a washcloth is totally appropriate father behavior. 

i read on babycenter that you're supposed to like getting a lotion massage after your bath, so i keep giving you one in hopes that you'll grow to appreciate it..  i'm pretty sure you hate it. 

your fondness for acrobatics is becoming a challenge during changing.. i'm convinced you purposely grab your feet to discourage proper diaper application. and if you're not grabbing them, you're practicing ninja kicks. this also makes clothing administration semi-impossible. 

gave you your first taste of applesauce this week. you seem to want to feed yourself since you pretty much grab the spoon from our hands (i think you like applesauce), but as i'm sure will often be the case, there was more on you than in you at the conclusion of feeding. 

i'm still perplexed as to what kind of play you actually enjoy, but you sat in the exersaucer and swatted at things for a good 20 minutes the other day. sadly, the jumper is basically just a suspender at this point until you figure out how to bounce. however, you did roll over (from back to front!) yesterday. it only happened once, and i fear it may have been a hallucination since you've been on back lockdown ever since, and refuse to repeat the phenomenon. i know you're saving it for that second i take my hand off you when you're on the couch or bed or changing table and you launch yourself off. you're testing me, aren't you?

You Are My Sunshine

{not quite 2 months}
The smiles have begun and they are glorious! They started at just about 6 weeks, and now they are getting more frequent and somehow even more beautiful. You enjoy withholding them, though, and making complete fools out of mommy & daddy, who will do anything for even a slight smirk. But the gummy grins are the best.

Daddy taught you a new trick the other day - sticking out his tongue and willing you to do the same. It's cute so I don't resist too much.. Although when he let you lick his lollipop the other day I saw a glimpse of years to come and am preemptively exhausted (and fearful). I'm sure we have a few AFV entries in our future. As long as they don't involve injuries I'll be ok. 

You woke up with a startling cry the other day and I was scared out of my mind. It hurt my heart! Not sure I'll be able to handle any real pain, so you'll just have to leave the house in football pads until you're 18, k?

nobody move! alright, it's ok. i'm ok.

You are eating well from the bottle, but mommy made the mistake of starting up her medicine again and it decreased the supply, so we've promptly icksnayed that and are trying to get back on track. Though there's a slight chance you'll end up with a little brother or sister more quickly than planned..


Starting to work on your hand-eye coordination. You'll reach up and grab things and bat at daddy's face, and your fav action is pulling the paci from your own mouth. Silly girl. 


Daddy is still able to change your diapers (yes even the dirty ones!) because they currently smell kind of like buttered popcorn. Which is a little weird, but we'll take it. However, he is no longer going to be allowed to pick out your clothes, since I discovered when I went to wash your Halloween costume that you may be able to wear it NEXT year, as it is the 6-12 month size. 


But the biggest news to date? The past 3 nights you've slept "through the night" - meaning at least 6 hours in a row. Woot! What what my baby is awesome. 

"seriously? swaddling is bad now?"

my little glowworm.

Keeping Up

{week 3}
Tomorrow marks 3 weeks for you. Holy crap time does fly! At this point, you are entranced by the fan (even when it's not moving). And you have a favorite window in the den that you constantly stare at. Your umbilical stump came off at 16 days, and we promptly gave you a real bath - which I think you actually kind of enjoyed (yey!!). The whale tub works great, though you seem to like spitting up as soon as we finish. You have been doing so more often lately, but the grandmas tell me this is normal. However, you're also straining like you have to poo but can't whenever you're awake and in the middle of the night - which is likely compounded when you're on your back.  ... so we just hold you most of the time. I'm sure this would be frowned upon in most every parenting book and behavioral guide, but we just cannot stand to see you upset. Sue me. 

(unso) List O Said Advice

I've received countless nuggets of wisdom/advice since embarking upon the journey to parenthood. So I decided to compile a list of my favorites.

In order of likelihood to cause deathly harm, from least to most likely (just kidding: no particular order), they are as follows:

• Babies can smell fear. 

• The first month or two are all about survival. Do what you have to do. This includes swaddling, holding, pacifying and crying. 

• "Share" the baby. Sometimes you just need a grown-up moment.

• You may have to sacrifice your personal hygiene and household cleanliness for rest. It's worth it; sleep when the baby sleeps.

• If your baby cries, try crying louder. It throws them off their game. 

• When you can, set aside some mommy and daddy time—like date night. You're gonna need that, too.

• Don't worry about losing baby weight on the way home from the hospital. It took 9 months to put it there; give it at least that long to come off. 

• Do your kegels.  (This one came from my mom. On my wall. On Facebook [defeatedly shaking head...]).

• Your breasts are no longer your property. They belong to the baby. And you might as well forget about that modesty thing while you have a minute, 'cause you're gonna be whipping those puppies out regardless of bystander preference or relation.

• You can read all the parenting books and magazines you want, prepare like you're studying for the SATs of child-rearing, and vow "I'll never let my child do that" till you're hoarse, but you just won't know till you're there. It's best to just be flexible and expect the unexpected. You're learning as you go, too.

• Never thrust a child on an unwilling participant (i.e. don't force people to hold your baby). If they want to do so, you'll know. And if not, the picture won't be pretty.

• Yes, you will be peed on. Get over it.

• You'll be puked and pooed on, too. Try not to puke back. 

• One size does not fit all. Don't cut the tags off until you're sure the clothes fit (save for a few coming-home outfits in the beginning; your baby probably doesn't want to be naked all the time ... yet). 

• Love your baby! The times when you are most upset at them will be when they need love the most. This is easier said than done.

• The world is a scary place already; have a baby and the threat level skyrockets to Defcon 5. BPA-leaden bottles, stifling crib bumpers, unplugged outlets and unsanitized hands will become the villains of your nightmares. You can't protect your baby from everything, so try not indulge your desire for that plastic baby bubble. Just do your best.

• No, b-feeding is not a form of birth control. If someone tries to convince you otherwise, it's a trick.  ;)

• Read up now, scholar mommy. 'Cause books are a luxury you can't afford in the early days of parenthood. You might want to watch those TV shows, go to the movies, head out to eat and overdose on your favorite meals, too.

• And oh yeah, you'll never eat hot food again. So maybe try to memorize what that's like now.

• People have been having babies for years. Most likely, there are people much less qualified than you doing it right now. You'll be fine.

• If someone asks for the name of your child and then responds with "hm, is that a family name?" or, "where did you get that?" they don't like it. Back away slowly and stifle ninja kick reflex.

• Screen the pictures your family posts for public consumption. (I'm adding this little gem post-pregnancy. It was touch-and-go for a couple hours there when I discovered an obscene image on Mimi Sally's Facebook. Just when you think there are no naked pictures of you on the web…)

• When you leave the hospital and have the "are they seriously letting us take this thing home without instructions?" thought, don't panic. Babies are less fragile and more resilient than you think. 

• No matter what, don't shake your baby. Clearly, this is a major issue, because they cannot warn you enough about it in babyclass.

• Listen to everyone's advice, nod politely, and then do whatever you want. Because nobody knows how to raise your child better than you. Yeah, I pretty much just told you to disregard everything above. But don't take my word for it..

 

(Excerpts from Safe Baby Handling Tips)

*Though I just dropped some sweet knowledge there, I feel the need to disclaim that I am not a babyologist, nor did I get my degree in child developmental… stuff. Feel free to use the above as loose guidelines, but if any of them cause irrevocable damage, I'm not afraid to plead stupid.

And if you have any further gems of wisdom, please add a comment and expound on this list. I know there are some pointers I've forgotten. Perhaps I'll do another version after I've been a parent for a while.  :)

And I Quote

{pufferfish sans water: week 34} 

Some of my favorite baby quotes—just thought I'd share:  

"Making the decision to have a child--It's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." - Elizabeth Stone 

"I don't know why they say "you have a baby." The baby has you." - Gallagher

"Parenthood: The state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage." - Marcelene Cox

"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare." - Ed Asner 

"If your baby's "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma." - Theresa Bloomingdale

"People who say they sleep like babies usually don't have them." - Leo J. Burke 

"Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home." - Bill Cosby 

"There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age." - Dr. Benjamin Spock 

"Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it." - Marshall McLuhan

"A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be." - Anon 

"The hardest job facing kids today is learning good manners without seeing any." - Fred Astaire

“The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.” - King Edward VIII  

"Parenthood: trading joy for sleep since [2009]" - Anon