Separationally-Challenged

Daddy is still resistant to your growth. I mean I'd like to keep you a baby as long as possible, but am aware that at some point, Peter Pan, everyone has to grow up. So I said to your (normally intelligent, fairly rational) father "I mean I'd like her to stay little too, but what what do you want to do, block her development?" His answer was a firm and immediate "yes." Okaaaaay...

Then as we prepared you for bed, he tells me "I love that I can just tap her on the bottom randomly and it's not weird because I'm her dad." He is so going to purposefully embarrass you when you get older. Can't wait for that.  ;)

Speaking of love taps, you (little miss bright eyes) have been contracting quite the attitude lately. Mia says it's because you're so intelligent that you're reading us and trying to figure out how to get what you want. I just think you get frustrated and don't know how else to communicate. But honestly, there are times when you freak the h out. The most notable example stems from your recent love-affair with Bo. Though he remains wary of your tiny presence, Bo has grown more tolerant as of late. He graciously allows you to pat, climb, pull and mouth him with as much zeal as your little body can possibly possess. You love to play the "mess with Bo until he lumbers off and then chase him to another location and repeat" game. I'm not sure Bo knows you're playing. If we at any point interrupt this bonding (by picking you up), you thrash and whine and twist about as though set on fire. I would think you were in pain if I didn't know better. Current tactics to disarm this bomb include distracting you with whatever toy or person is available, removing you from the room/situation, and bribing you with food. Just kidding about the last one. Taking you away seems to help, but it's tough. It's crazy to me that we're having to deal with this already. Aren't you supposed to stay a baby a little longer? I may be starting to see daddy's point of view on this whole not growing up thing...

Maybe with our own stubborn selves, we should have known you'd be strong-willed. But if this is your first challenge, bring it on. We will nip it in the bud, my little diva. A battle of wills. 'Cause you know what princess? We can out-stubborn you. 

I'm sorry to do it and you may hate me for it sometimes, but you can't always get what you want. If you cry sometimes, though, you might find you get what you need.... 

(I'm joking. We will always try to meet your needs. That's what parents are for.)

The other side of this strange, misshapen parenting coin is that you've also been experiencing bouts of separation anxiety. You have a few favorite people in the world and everyone else is just scenery. Scenery that does not hold the baby...

The preference tier is as follows:

1. Mia

2. Daddy / Bo

3. Miss Alecia and/or Miss Nevona

4. Mommy

5. Granny

etc. (you get the picture)

For one reason or another, Mia is the absolute apple of your eye. To you, no one is more glorious and deserving of your love than your Mia Sally. Well, daddy might run a close second; but if your beloved Mia is around, you only have eyes for her! We discovered this during our week at the beach when you would cry for Mia if mommy took you and reach upside-down-backwards in search of her embrace. 

And hey, where's the "I don't love one parent more than the other; I love them both equally" filter, kid? Aren't you supposed to be born with that? At times when daddy hands you off and I want nothing more than a hug or snuggle, you scream bloody murder (and a pathetic "dadada" on a loop) to return to your fave. I'm sure this makes daddy feel good, but I have to secretly squelch the tears because admitting it hurts my feelings is ludicrous. You don't mean anything by it, I know. But I want so badly for you to love me. I mean I'm sure you do, but I'm emotionally high-maintenance and need the reassurance. Blessedly, daddy and Mia understand and give mommy extra hugs for support. And daddy had a wonderful suggestion of greeting one another before we greet you. That way we can show you the correct hierarchy. It's mommy and daddy; then you. I think the theme here is "this is our world, and we're fitting you in."

And now (since I've mainly written about your noncompliance so far and am feeling a tad guilty because it's really such a small part of your world), I'd like to share some of the things I love about you at almost 10 months(!):

• When you pull up on something and then turn around and wobble a step or two towards me I get so excited (but then I realize that walking = toddler and you're not my little baby anymore, and it makes me less anxious... ). Daddy's probably thinking of any way possible to keep you from taking those steps, but I'm afraid it's imminent.

• You're eating everything (thank daddy for that) with your pinschers, which is basically the most adorable way I can think of to get your dietary allowance. We like to lay it out on the tray and let you go for the gold. Puffs and breadcrumbs turn up just about everywhere, but I'm sure some of it actually lands in your mouth...   The most recent of daddy's ill-conceived food tasting choices? Dorito cheese straight from the finger. Am I on television?

• If you happen to be sleeping and wake up to a face you love (see list above), you burst into that shining smile and start waving hello. That floppy little gesture just melts me to pieces.

• Evidently, you can now produce dog sounds. Miss Nevona shared with me today that you have the "ruff ruff ruff" down pat. You are becoming quite proficient in jibberish as well. I bet you and Bo have secret conversations..

• Often when we play, you create your own obstacle course just so it will require you to climb over us and back again. You particularly enjoy shimmying monkey-style up daddy's chest while he's sideways and rolling over to his back. Gymnast? Maybe. Daredevil? Clearly. I'll start practicing the fastest routes to the hospital.

• At daycare, you have a sleep mat (on account of the pulling up in your crib thing). Daddy and I find it impossible to buy that you actually fall asleep there and stay still, but your teachers insist. When daddy picked you up yesterday, they divulged that you were so ready to nap at 2:30, you voluntarily dragged yourself over and laid down on your mat without prompting. Aw!

• You're loving water (aside from the ocean waves, but they scare me too so we're not counting that). Daddy waded with you at Aunt Jennifer's 30th birthday Tie-Dye and pool party, which was your first time in a big girl pool. You do have precisely 9 bathing suits—several of which are bikinis that may or may not be wildly inappropriate for a baby—so I certainly hope you continue this water infatuation. I'll put some beach pictures up asap.  :)  

Click here to view these pictures larger

• You also have a preference for water from a plastic bottle (sadly, I am not kidding—but I think it's because you find it necessary to envelop the opening while drinking). If it's not in the bottle, a straw will do the trick. And despite daddy's major sippy-cup resistance, he is happy to teach you to use a real cup. Observe:

• You dance. Not that I'm shocked in any way, considering the 2 bachelorette parties, 2 weddings, numerous dance dance revolution battles and countless super baby dance parties of your "youth." And you love music. Granny contends that country is your fave. Traitor. You are my baby, right? I'm hoping to catch you on daddy's phone because corroboration exists only on the camcorder at this juncture. But it is too too cute. 

No, you're not in that video, but I'm just sayin'.. I won't be surprised if they contact you for the next one.

In other news, Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Jay recently welcomed your future crush, Graham Nance Weaver, just over a week early on June 9th. 

Isn't he great at his job? (sleeping)

He is as little, beautiful, and sweet as can be, and I have to apologize in advance that you will not be allowed to date him, as apparently this would be awkward for your father and Uncle Jay. (You can take it up with them). But I'm sure you'll be great friends and you can show him all sorts of good stuff like how to fling pacis and eat sand. Jake still has your heart for the time being anyway.*   ;)    

*I really am joking about these things. But it's only because I so want you to bond with your non-related cousins. I know you're all very popular in your own circles, but mommy and your aunts are kinda close. So if you wouldn't mind humoring us, playing with one another and at least trying to be pals, we'd greatly appreciate it. And I bet you'll have some great stories when you're older (you know, when you're all about to graduate from UNC).

My Funny, Hungry, Sleepy Baby

{9 months and gaining}

So yesterday at your 9 month checkup, the doctor said we could start giving you baby-sized pieces of our own food as long as you can hold and chew it without issue. When I mentioned this to daddy, he took it as a license to go crazy with the food-tasting, and tonight you tried green beans, your first french fry, and (!!) pork barbeque from Shane's Ribshack. Mommy was not happy with the fact that pork was your first meat, and promptly offered you a shred of my chicken. I fear we're creating a monster. But it's very cute to watch you grab the pieces with your thumb and forefinger and try to land them in your bird-mouth.

Dr. B said you were lookin good. 78th percentile in height; 15th in weight. They'd be concerned if you weren't so tall. Sounds like you take after your mommy.  :)  You're just starting the clingy stage and becoming wary of strangers, but you warmed up to the doc after a bit and even performed some of your tricks for him (the latest of which is flipping your paci sideways and gripping it with your two teeth). You also clapped and danced (I'm assuming the music was playing in your head), and stood on mommy's lap. 

You're presently not the most talkative of kids, but just the way you look at the world makes me think you're processing it all. And anytime you want to start actually calling me mama (instead of just throwing it out there sans meaning) is good with me. You give wonderful kisses—especially to daddy. You only bit me that one time... ;)

Your favorite snack for the moment is pretzels, which daddy has been giving to you for several weeks without my knowledge. You basically just suck all the salt from them and gnaw the bare stick. When I came home and caught this action going on one night, daddy said "she loves pretzels!" unapologetically. Yes, this was before we had clearance from the doctor to give you finger foods. But I guess no harm done if you don't get sick. Thank goodness you're a very tolerant baby, and can take pretty much anything we throw at you. Maybe I should thank God for that, too.

pretzel or teething tool? you decide

perhaps some lobster bisque for the lady??

yes, that is seriously what daddy is feeding you...

We're still doing the 'your bed most of the night; ours the rest' thing, but I'm moderately convinced it's only because daddy wakes from his temporary couchbed and grabs you on the way to ours (perchance sleepthinking you're restless even when you're not). Don't tell him I said that. I have to collect evidence first..

In the mornings, you stir around 6:30. And though we'd love just that half hour more, your waking process, again, is too cute for us to hate. First you tumble from side to side (mommy to daddy) and see if this gets our attention. You may still be half-sleeping, but it works. Then the paci dislodges and you turn onto your tummy and up to all fours. One of us generally attempts to coax you back to bed with a gentle check against the pillows at that point. But you are not to be discouraged and soon muster up to a stand, looming over one of our faces (employing the head for support). I'm not sure how you know, but the poking, prodding, pulling and smacking does it, and we are up to attend to your every beck and call once again. Periodically, mommy and daddy are more tired and therefore more resistant to your blows, and attempt to endure the abuse longer just to slightly extend the rest. 

Recently, you found that pulling daddy's armpit hair will shock him up swiftly. That was a fun morning.

Don't even get me started on the falling asleep process. It's more complicated by far, especially on days when your naps aren't regular, but always entails a paci and blankette (i.e. soft piece of fabric posing as a blanket, but smaller—often with a stuffed animal attachment). We call your favorite one Ellie, since it's essentially a flat pink elephant (no, not fat; flat. Seriously, these things sound absurd when you try to explain them). Anywho, you still perform the flailing exercise and rub your Ellie on your cheek to soothe you down. Daddy was watching you do this one day and wondered aloud "do you think she's still gonna have to do that when she, like, goes off to college? I mean her roommate will be lying there peacefully nodding off, and she'll start flapping a pillow about over her head trying to fall asleep." Then he demonstrated and I lost control. We get the biggest kick out of you, baby. It's probably not even funny to anyone else, but I love our inside jokes. You are terrifically hilarious.

Mobile Munchkin

{8.5 months going on 13}


nooo! my child has become a mean girl! (or at the very least, joined the paci police). last week was precious jake's first week at school, and you decided to make it super-easy (major sarcastic undertone) by crawling over as soon as i set you down, standing(ish) above him, grabbing his paci and throwing it away (in a "seriously, you don't need this here; i'm just gonna relieve you of it" kind of way). and you did so with the efficiency of a hawk snatching its prey. jaclyn thinks maybe you're just trying to "assert your seniority" and show everyone that although you're little, you're no pushover. i would hate to think of my darling, sweet girl as a bully, so i'm claiming that you were really just preparing to go in for some lovin. you are, after all, a shameless flirt.. 

(see?)

and not just with the little guys! at lunch just last week, you could not take your eyes off the young blonde surfer boy who came in as we ate. you were babbling away, banging two toys together, and literally stopped mid-play to watch him make his order. you were distracted by his beauty for a good five minutes, which is a dang long time for a baby. luckily, we were at jimmy john's, so he got his sub freaky fast and left. daddy is still your number one guy, though. and we like it that way. preferably until you're about 18.  

another recent development at daycare has been the need for us to sign a "sleep waiver," because you allegedly refuse to remain on your back during naps and your teachers seem to have grown tired of flipping you around.  ;)  ok so this isn't news to us. on a number of occasions, i will admit, we've put you to bed and check an hour later to find you snoring away on your tummy with your bottom up in the air and legs tucked underneath you. you've also grown to prefer starting out on your side. and honestly, though i know back is best and would absolutely never forgive myself if something happened, i kind of feel like  a baby's gonna sleep how a baby wants to sleep (especially if she's little miss mobile and does crib gymnastics like you do). i'm more comfortable on my side, too. 

you're crawling all natural-like now, and seriously i feel like we went from infant to toddler in a week because you're pulling up on everything and cruising around just like a real little human (ok yes i know that's what you are, but it's clearly surreal for mommy to watch you growing before my eyes)!

(multitasking)

(the plastic bottle - still one of your favorite playthings. 

sigh.)

(and your new favorite toy)

(hmm.. sweetie I'm not sure that particular thing should go in your mouth)

and random/cute sidenote: daddy often falls asleep downstairs to the drone of the television (he claims it's the only thing that puts him out. and since our room remains technologically-challenged, the den is his preferred nocturnal habitat). as i'm sure i've mentioned before, daddy has some strange sleep habits and it often results in incoherent babbling or some form of sleepwalking. in the wee hours of the night last week, he tromped upstairs and fell into bed and i said "goodnight sweetie, i love you." to which he replied "night babygirl. i love you so much."

over the weekend we let daddy sleep in while we redecorated the bonus room with your toys. the dogs started barking randomly as they sometimes do (to alert us that there is a squirrel or rabbit that needs our attention), and apparently it woke him. you and i watched/listened helplessly as daddy leapt out of bed, ran to the stairs and somehow launched himself clear over most of them, landing about 4 steps from the bottom. when the dust settled, he came in the room and admitted that he was half-asleep and convinced we were downstairs in danger. i think maybe he was reenacting his childhood superman fantasy .. just kidding.

Your You-Ness

{6 months old}
things i don't want to forget:

you play with my hair while eating - twist it around your hand and run your fingers through it. it's such a sweet gesture. i've been thinking about chopping most of it off, but you make me reconsider. 

speaking of hand movements, you are now practicing your dexterity by repeatedly opening and closing your fist. this is especially adorable when you're drifting off to sleep and we can just barely see your little hand peeking up over the pack&play (and then disappearing.. and then reappearing.. and then disappearing...)

you also like to delicately place your hand on our faces, or grab it with both and pull us toward you (so sweet!!). 

(you & aunt Loryn practicing a face grab/backwards hug situation)

i even love your "hunger face." - don't get me wrong, i would never want you to be hungry, but occasionally when you are especially ravenous, your eyes lock on to the target and you open your mouth as wide as possible while taking short, forceful breaths. i need to get that on tape. 

sometimes when you wake up in the wee hours of the morn, you don't go back to sleep right away. you just sit there and talk. daddy and i listen to your "aaaa. aaa. aaaaaaa"ing and can't help but laugh - even when we want to be mad that you're keeping us up.

it's official. you have inherited daddy's "crazy eyes." in other words, when you've been asleep for any length of time and awaken suddenly, your bloodshot, wide-eyed stare pierces through my very soul.. (well that may be a bit dramatic but you clearly look POed). don't worry, wake daddy up at the wrong time and i'm sure you'll get to experience them yourself someday. 

you are for real a professional ninja now. or baby beckham. those kicks are strong! and you kick with a ferocity i've not witnessed before. you've even taken to pulling your knees up and kicking off when mommy or daddy is holding you, and one of these days you're just going to do a backflip right out of my arms. careful munchkin!!

you gave us our first card for valentine's day. it had a picture of you sitting there smiling triumphantly and a little construction-paper footprint bouquet (made cuter by the little uneven monkey-toeprints). i cried.

you recognize "your peeps" now. anyone you know can summon a most brilliant dimpled smile (and sometimes even people you don't know). i love that you do this. you amaze me.

The Return of the Crud

so basically, you've been sick for almost 4 weeks now. it started off as a bit of congestion, and you had your first (low-grade) fever on Friday the 29th (of January) - which also happened to be the first of several snowdays in the past couple weeks from which you were quarantined. :(  we could tell you felt yucky, but even then it was only mildly irritating to your normally-sweet disposition, so we just let you sleep as much as possible and tried to wait it out. but in the last week and a half, the congestion has morphed into a runny nose and produced a scary-sounding cough that occasionally causes you to projectile vomit on anything in your path. not so much a good time for the washing machine to up and quit. 

just last week, you started putting both your fists in your mouth, drooling fiercely and then screaming in pain when we give you something to gnaw on. you seem to be calmed by the miraculous orajel swabs i preemptively purchased for teething. does this mean you're teething? and if so, those toofers need to stop hurting you. why do babies need teeth anyway? 

of course, mommy and daddy freak out a tad at the slightest screech (you being our first baby and all), so we took you to dr. brassfield on monday. to be fair, your cold symptoms did seem to be worsening rather than clearing up. but as we suspected, there's not much we can do to help you (you seriously can't imagine how frustrating that is!). if i haven't mentioned it before, we love our doc and ansley does, too. when she's not sick. 

at least we ruled out the big things. dr. b looked at you and said "i bet you don't cry for long at your house." nope. can't imagine why...

i guess i should take a second to explain. first, a disclaimer: i am not an expert, nor do i recommend raising your child exactly as i do. i know there are a myriad of methods out there and, really, who knows which is better than another. what works for me may not work for anyone else. so i'll try not to give "advice" unless it's asked. the following (and any further parental nuggets i choose to share herein) is simply "how we do." take it or leave it. right or wrong. crazy-brilliant or just literally crazy.

i've mentioned babywise in here before, and though i believe in its merits and fully trust its effectiveness, much like me and the pill, babywise and i have broken up. it was a mutual decision and an amicable split, but b-dub and i differ when it comes to the "cry it out" scenario.

there may come a time when i will feel the need to do such a thing. and i may eat my words with a healthy dose of my own saltwater tears, but at the current moment i simply cannot understand why i would set my baby down and leave her to cry when we can rock or sway for a few minutes, or even lay her in the crib while i watch over her as she floats painlessly off to dreamland. you could say she has us wrapped around her abnormally-long little fingers. but i just think right now she's a pretty good little baby, and i'm fairly certain she's not lacking the ability to soothe herself (her personal morning talkshow is evidence of this..). 

we did get into the habit of co-sleeping during the sickness as i feared for her respiratory function and needed to hear her breathing, but are finally easing back to the crib and she's done fabulously. yes, there are times when jon or i go to her in the middle of the night to re-insert the paciplug, but for the most part she sleeps well. and for me, that's enough. 

**disclaimer 2: if you're feeling out of sorts after reading this post, you're not loopy. i'm retro-posting, since i didn't have time to do so when i first started writing this. if you're new to.. me.. or this blog, i'm going to be doing quite a bit of this since i have "journal entries" that date back beyond a year and am seriously trying to organize pictures to go with them. i also have a list of pics and videos to add before i really "catch up" and can start posting in realtime again. so please forgive me if i don't get to the latest ansley stat. i'm trying!! i know.. i suck. 

will cute ansley pics help???

(snow-suiting up!)

(but.. now how do i get to my hands?)

iCare/Daycare

{21 weeks}

daycare sucks. not for you; for me. i hate that they take you away from me, and that i have to work and can't keep you at home and watch you myself. but i know deep down that you're probably having more fun there than you would with me anyway, and you're actually learning things i might not be able to teach you (currently, you are "working on sitting"). they even had a cute little cubby and labels in the fridge and around the room for you before you got there. however, it does not help when i come to pick you up and they're like "oh she smiles all day; she has the best smile!" and then i come over for a love break and i get no smiles!!! dangit wth. ok so this doesn't happen everytime and you do sometimes beam at the sight of us, but seriously - you could at least pretend that you're happy i'm there and anxious to come home...  ;)   mommy is just insecure, though. i know this. when i had to drop you off on monday for the first time, it took Mimi Sally a good 10 minutes to talk me down in the parking lot  (and caused her a good scare when she answered the phone) because i was too upset to drive away. it was your "mommy? where are you going? face" as i left that stuck the bubble in my chest. ouch my heart hurt to leave you. this is why daddy shall do it from now on (except under extremely extenuating circumstances). 

unfortunately, since starting daycare, you have developed "the crud." this snot-infused, Darth Vader-sounding congestion presents itself at night and causes you difficulty breathing. at least it seems like it's difficult. i call you my little love dragon because you also tend to hiss. you HATE when we use the snot-sucker (a-hem nasal aspirator excuse me) to restore your air passages, but it gets the job done. of course, even after propping you up in your crib and getting a humidifier with Vicks insert for your room, one of us ends up transferring you to our bed in the middle of the night or early morning. we should just start you there - I think you sleep better with us (funny - mommy sleeps worse. not that i mind).   :)


*disclaimer: daddy did want me to mention that he offered to take on the responsibility of dropping you off from the start because he knew how hard it would be on mommy, and this was an isolated incident. i'll be better next time, i promise. 


bonus: your mimi has a short day on Thursdays and is going to be picking you up early when she can to spend the rest of the day with her. she did this for the first time last week, but forgot that your stay would probably require a diaper change and didn't have any on-hand. consequently, you were returned to us wearing this:

why yes, actually, that is, in fact, a puppy pad. 

needless to say, i changed you at once (as soon as i picked myself up off the floor and stopped laughing). 

You Are My Sunshine

{not quite 2 months}
The smiles have begun and they are glorious! They started at just about 6 weeks, and now they are getting more frequent and somehow even more beautiful. You enjoy withholding them, though, and making complete fools out of mommy & daddy, who will do anything for even a slight smirk. But the gummy grins are the best.

Daddy taught you a new trick the other day - sticking out his tongue and willing you to do the same. It's cute so I don't resist too much.. Although when he let you lick his lollipop the other day I saw a glimpse of years to come and am preemptively exhausted (and fearful). I'm sure we have a few AFV entries in our future. As long as they don't involve injuries I'll be ok. 

You woke up with a startling cry the other day and I was scared out of my mind. It hurt my heart! Not sure I'll be able to handle any real pain, so you'll just have to leave the house in football pads until you're 18, k?

nobody move! alright, it's ok. i'm ok.

You are eating well from the bottle, but mommy made the mistake of starting up her medicine again and it decreased the supply, so we've promptly icksnayed that and are trying to get back on track. Though there's a slight chance you'll end up with a little brother or sister more quickly than planned..


Starting to work on your hand-eye coordination. You'll reach up and grab things and bat at daddy's face, and your fav action is pulling the paci from your own mouth. Silly girl. 


Daddy is still able to change your diapers (yes even the dirty ones!) because they currently smell kind of like buttered popcorn. Which is a little weird, but we'll take it. However, he is no longer going to be allowed to pick out your clothes, since I discovered when I went to wash your Halloween costume that you may be able to wear it NEXT year, as it is the 6-12 month size. 


But the biggest news to date? The past 3 nights you've slept "through the night" - meaning at least 6 hours in a row. Woot! What what my baby is awesome. 

"seriously? swaddling is bad now?"

my little glowworm.

Where did I put those instructions?

{13 days old}
I am watching you right now in your carseat panting and grunting - obviously trying to expel something from your hind end.. You stay asleep though (thank you for that) so mommy will still get her shower in this morning. It's the small victories. 

You have currently taken to imitating animals, as we often hear little dog-like whimpers or the occasional cat hiss emanating from your tiny sleeping frame. Daddy is very good at soothing you; when he was home with us for the first week I would peek into the nursery during your "wake"time and see him reading to you with tears running down his cheeks. And every now and then I catch a few notes of him singing you a song. Now normally mommy is not the biggest fan of daddy's vocals, but he sings to you so sweetly it melts my heart. 

I think you view mommy as more of a feeding trough. But nursing is a comfort to you as well. We're attempting to implement the principles of Babywise and get you on a schedule, but I fear we're failing miserably. You have already displayed resistance to self-soothing (preferring to be held in order to fall asleep), and I'm pretty sure you've begun to snack-feed. Not good. But we're trying. I just want to give you "the gift of nighttime sleep" here babygirl. Work with me.  :)